The day after my first Reiki therapy everything became official, my scope of responsibility was growing and as anticipated, with it my line of reporting. This was the second restructure I was going to lead my team through. I felt overwhelm, not by the regional challenge but by the implications of the changes in reporting. Later that day I talked to a best friend who knew about the changes happening at work. I explained my options and again, told her why I was reluctant to even considering one of them. She, being the straight-forward person she is, told the something without sugar coating it: “Why do you insist in being a tree when you were made a bird’”. That night I remembered my conversation with Jill.
In the following days, I had a couple of session with Gaby. If conflicts, issues or thoughts were balls of tangled yarn for me, Gaby has this natural ability to help me pull thread by thread until I can see both ends. Together we analyzed with an open mind all three options from a immediate, short, long-term benefits perspective. We crossed off on immediately, staying in my recently upgraded position. The two left options implied significant but positive career changes, but the one that I hesitated about, had personal implications. After two sessions, we concluded that I was reluctant to it due to emotional memories and out of fear of not failing, but actually succeeding. That day I made peace with the idea of and was convinced about the personal and professional benefits. So, I had to start taking action.
Some days later I received an email from the leader I had heard speak at the women’s forum almost two years ago. She asked if we could connect and we scheduled a call. She said she had recently changed roles and was now responsible of leading a recently created team through a major restructure and said she specifically wanted me to come work for her. She explained the scope of the role and said that while she knew this was a major decision for me to make, she needed an answer the next day. The moment I hung up I started panicking, literally. How could this this be happening within weeks after my Reiki session and days after my sessions with Gaby? It couldn’t be coincidence.
The following hours were hectic, I shared the news with my family and asked for their insights; and while I wanted to share it with other few people, I knew that the more opinions I heard, the more confused I was going to be left. In the end, the answer was withing me. I couldn’t sleep that night, the next morning I didn’t feel ready to turn a decision so, I sent a note to her asking for an extra day. I felt like I needed a clear and loud sign from the universe (like if I hadn’t receive enough signs already), and asked for one. I won’t get into details, because they’re not relevant; but I received the sign I asked for, clear, loud and promptly.
The next day in the afternoon, I called the leader I wanted to be like and said that I was gonna be happy to come work for her. Later that night, I texted Jill and Gaby to say “I just said yes, I’m nervous. Our conversation was crucial. Thank you”. That’s how on Jul 15th, differently from the same day years earlier, I chose myself over anyone or anything and decided to take a big leap of faith (or at least the start of it)!.
To be continued…
Unapologetic Thoughts 