Last weekend, I had to go to Guadalajara for work purposes. Since, I’ve never been there before, and given than I have a good friend living there, I decided to stay over the weekend.
A few days previous to my arrival, my friend texted me to let me know that she wanted to introduce me to one of her friends. I’ve heard about this guy before, my friend was interested in him when he had recently moved to Mexico from the US. Anyway, my friend shared my phone with him and next thing I knew I got a call from him to ask me out on a date.
We arranged to meet at the restaurant at 7 pm on Friday (wrong decision!). On Friday, the meeting with my supplier ran out late and I arrived to my friend’s apartment at 7 pm, smelling to “God, you need a shower ASAP!”. I texted him: Hey, can we met 7:30 pm? I’m running late!. I took a five-minute shower, ironed the only blouse I had brought, got dressed as fast as I could, put the few jewelry I had with me and rushed to take an Uber (Yes, I made my make up on the way to the restaurant). I arrived 7:50 pm, he was seated in the outside bench. We smile at each other as I got out of the car. Hello you, I said and we hugged. We went into the restaurant and…
Actually, we had a good time. Nothing was awkward. We talked about him, about his multiple experiences living abroad (the 2-years in Japan was what took most of the time!), we talked about me, what I do for living, etc. Regular first-date talk.
Regular first-date-talk, the reason I’m writing this post, because in my opinion, first dates shouldn’t be only about that boring get-to-know-me-stuff. I’m certain that there is so much more about him, about me than what we saw on that first date. There’s so much more that we do not get to see, feel or perceive on a first date. The thing about first dates, is that you only have 2-3 hours to decide wether there will be a second or third date. So for that reason, I’m sorry I gotta say it, first dates are overrated.
I’m all up for getting to know people, who you might potentially end up dating (or not) but in a more casual setting. An environment in which there’s no time pressure, or the expectation of having to behave this or that way, or the need of covering a life resume.
My date? Well, as much as a good time as we had, there was not much in common. Nothing that was worth a second date and it’s good. There comes an age when you realize that you can’t waste time anymore, you can’t afford that. So, you start being honest with yourself and the other person. There’s no point on investing any time or effort if you anticipate no future with someone. I believe that there will be less broken hearts if we all understood that as painful as it is sometimes, it’s better to end something soon (or in some cases, not even starting it) than wasting anyone’s time (including our own).
So, I’ve chosen to believe that maturity is also: going on a date, realizing halfway through it that there’s no future and still end up having a great time.
Unapologetic Thoughts 