I wake at 5 am after what seemed a 2-3 hour nap, instead than a night of sleep. I go out to the living room of my sisters’ small apartment and I see 5 pieces of luggage, 3 carry ons and 1 graduation frame ready to go.
It takes us around 30 minutes to get ready before my cousin honked letting us know he is outside ready to make everything fit in the car. We manage and some minutes later we are driving down the I-15 freeway on our way to the Salt Lake City airport.
Once we get there, we go straight to have my sisters checked in (they are taking an earlier direct flight). The agent’s expression let’s me know that our luggage is way over the weight limit and I start panicking (what of all the things I wanna take with me should I leave behind?). Quickly, without so much thinking behind it I take some things out and we finally finish checking in. I say goodbye and thank my cousin and his friend for driving us up. After going through TSA, my sisters and I split; they go to their gate and I go to mine. I have ahead a 3-hour wait before my flight leaves.
Finally, after a rushed morning I’ve some time to think. I take my phone out, start my favorite playlist and start looking around… I see people coming and going about their lives. I look at the landscape, those outstanding summer Utah mountains and so it hits me: It’s happening Denisse. You are leaving to go back to your home country, after having spent the last 5-and-a-half years of your life here. You are leaving and you don’t know when you are coming back or if you ever will. I try not to, but the tears star streaming down my face.
Suddenly, this other thought comes to my mind: You did it Denisse, you really did! What started as a crazy dream as a teenager gets fulfilled today. You met the requirements to get accepted into the university and the program you wanted. For the last years, you worked hard to pay for your own education. You graduated and for a year you got some professional experience and now (as promised) you are going back. Above all, you grew… you are not the same person you were when you got here at 18. So, make the tears stop.
The time goes by slower than normal and after having a discussion with the airline agent about how many personal articles am I allowed to take in the plane, I board. An hour and a half later we land in Las Vegas and now I’m overflowed with memories, good ones.
I find my gate and make myself comfortable for another 2-hour wait. I try to distract myself to stop the anxiety that I’m now starting to feel (I’ve always hated that empty stomach feeling!). We board the second plane and that second departure is harder than the first one, because now I’m actually leaving the country with no return ticket. It’s been a long day already!
We land – 4 hours later – as I hear the flight attendant speaking in Spanish saying the familiar ‘Bienvenidos a la Ciudad de México…”. It’s been 18 months since the last time I heard that welcoming line. It’s now past 9 pm. I exit the the plane and walk as fast as possible to the immigration desk to get my passport stamped and pick up my luggage.
One, two, three suitcases later… I’m able (somehow) to take everything to the the customs line. I’m waiting for my turn and then those automatic glass doors open and I can see them already… waiting for me. I get lucky enough to get the green button and I go out to get what I’ve been needing all day long: a big hug from my parents.
I take a deep breath as we walk to the parking lot and think: Here you go Denisse. You know how to do this. Let’s start over… again!
Unapologetic Thoughts 